never play flip cup with pint glasses
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
