Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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