He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
