We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
He did a backflip because drugs
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
