walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
