i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
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