I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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