Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
