You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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