does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
