I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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