Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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