id be glad to
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Randomize
