Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
