cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Randomize
