Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
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