Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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