Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Randomize
