On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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