Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
