if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
