I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
