Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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