After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
where are you?
Hypothermia
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
