It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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