the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Randomize
