Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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