Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
