My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
