You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
A bitchslap is in order.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
