wrigley field is MILF paradise
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize