You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
