Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
