Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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