So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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