She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
My dick has a subreddit
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
