And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
