You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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