my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
