I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
