She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
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so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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