TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
