You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
