Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
