He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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