can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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