Can i not drive my cunt home
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
