How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
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