I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
