boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
