my text book just quoted the cookie monster
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Sorry about my life...
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
jump out the window naked night went bad
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