youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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