Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
