sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
