Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize