therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
