i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
