then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
