i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
