the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
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