I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
