I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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