it hurts more in the daytime
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Text me some of your sweat
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
