How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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