I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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